Addressing Detrans Misconceptions

“People who detransition are opposed to gender care”

Detrans narratives are sometimes used by politicians, activists or in the media as an argument against trans people and gender care. However, many people who detransition support trans people and worry their stories will be used to hurt trans people, women, or the 2SLGBTQ+ community. 

Some detransitioners may wish to see improvements in research and adjustments in practice to better support people who seek medical transition. For example, many detrans and trans youth alike discuss the need to explore the motives for wanting to transition and clarify possible underlying issues and wished they were offered non-medical options to address their feelings of distress. Yet many also specify that such a comprehensive assessment approach shouldn’t restrict people’s ability to decide to transition. Detransitioners are diverse just like any other minority group. Detransitioning is a life experience, not a political position.

“Everyone who detransitions regrets their transition.”

It is true that people who detransition can face strong feelings of regrets, grief and sometimes anger, but this is not the case for everyone. Often, a mix of positive and negative feelings may be present: regretting some aspects of transition and liking others, grieving the past self and gaining more self-acceptance through the process. Because some detrans people are mourning the body they once had and they can no longer recover, care providers should provide support to process these feelings. However, people who detransition often have a wide range of feelings regarding their transition and not everyone experiences regrets or grief. For some, these feelings may fade over time as they process grief and loss. Others feel gratitude for having been able to explore their gender and gain a better self-understanding, and some are satisfied with the physical changes from their medical transition. Narratives from both studies showed complex and ambivalent feelings such satisfaction with some aspects of medical or social transition, while being dissatisfied with other elements. It is important to remember that detransition, like transition, can be an individual experience and people have unique needs. 

In the Re/DeTrans Canada study, 18 out of 27 participants had positive feelings about their transition or didn’t have regrets, and about a third of participants expressed decisional regret. In the Detrans Discourses study, 14 out of 20 participants expressed positive feelings or no regrets about their transition, 12 expressed negative feelings including regrets, most expressed both negative and positive feelings and/or had ambivalent discourses.  Other studies have shown that about 50-60% of participants who detransitioned report regret (Littman, 2021; Vandenbussche, 2021).

“Life is ruined after a detransition”

Having to stop and/or reverse a transition can be challenging and destabilizing, especially at the beginning. People who detransition can experience feelings like grief, anger, regret, doubt, worry for the future, and helplessness. Sometimes, challenges from the past may come back or remain and need to be addressed with a healthcare provider, such as gender dysphoria or body related distress. However, many detransitioners report having a fulfilling life today. Some people even report that having gone through a detransition taught them to care less about external validations, to detach from gender norms, and to find self-love and self-acceptance. This does not mean that transition was the right path, but rather that a rewarding life after detransition is possible. Resources like embodiment practices, journaling, psychological support, community support or peer support can help navigate this period. In the Detrans Discourses study, Eleonor offers an example of self-acceptance and resilience after going through strong feelings of regrets and self-blame:

“It’s more of like, it’s kind of cheesy, but I kind of like love myself more for it, even though there are things I obviously wish I could change, like everyone else, but there’s, there’s less of a feeling of like, God, I hate my body or God I hate this part of myself and more just like this isn’t perfect, but nothing is, and that’s fine, and I think it’s helped a lot to be able to tackle those feelings in like a, a more gentle way toward myself [laughs]. Like, it’s helped a lot I think mentally. I don’t know about physically, but mentally and emotionally, I think it’s helped a lot.”

This shows, as stated by Expósito-Campos, “Life after detransition can be livable, meaningful, and fulfilling.” p.276.

“All detrans people transitioned in the first place because of peer influences”

Some detrans people mention an active influence from peers who affirm the idea that feeling dysphoria equals being trans and this can encourage the person to transition. With social media, this phenomenon can be amplified, and sometimes puts a strong focus on the feeling of dysphoria=trans, and the need to transition. Thus, in Detrans Discourses, a participant mentioned having developed dysphoria because she felt she “had to in order to be trans enough”. Some participants also mentioned feeling a pressure to perform their gender and “to keep going with each step to prove themselves”. It also happens that people have been labelled trans by other trans people after having shared their experience of feeling dysphoria. A decision to transition is deeply personal and individual. A gender exploration and even a transition doesn’t have to follow specific steps. It is important to really explore one’s feelings, needs and expectations outside of external influences to find the most appropriate answer for oneself. It is not up to someone else to say what is the best solution. 

That said, we can’t generalize this idea that all people who transition and later detransition were influenced by peers or social media. For some people, gender exploration is a social experience that enables recognition of one’s gender identity and connecting with community. The way we feel about our gender can be impacted by many factors including social norms, cultural beliefs, social experiences, and gender dysphoria.